


Single-Paragraph One Piece Stories

by c2t2



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Aphrodisiacs, Dark, F/F, F/M, Fever Dreams, Fluff, Gen, Horror, Humor, I refuse to believe a bunch of teenage pirates are all celibate, Implied Relationships, M/M, Multi, Obscure Characters, Old-School Dentistry, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, boner jokes, minor crossover, silliness, terrible puns, wild speculation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-06 16:11:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1864077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c2t2/pseuds/c2t2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>See the title. Wide variety of characters and pairings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Mood ranges from funny to cool to creepy to NIGHTMARE FUEL.  
> Notes on each (but in a different order) can be found at squizbee.livejournal.com

1\. Zoro never gave a damn what people called him, but this was getting ridiculous. Staring idly up at his captain’s Jolly Roger, ‘Pirate Hunter Zoro’ decided he really needed a new title.  
  
\---  
  
2\. Rouge’s smile was menacing and her voice dripped with sarcasm, “Forgive my rudeness ‘Pirate King’. Meet my nakama: our scholar Nico Olvia, doctor Kureha, bandit Dadan, shipwright Kokoro, treasurer Shakki, Amazon Nyon, and as you know, I’m Captain Portgas. Now you’ll have to excuse us, Tsuru is up my ass right now and we must be on our way.” As she pushed past them, Roger found he could not look away.  
  
\---  
  
3\. Even though the tragedy at Marineford was undone, the psychological effects remained. Each night Luffy would wake from nightmares, calming only once he had looked into Ace’s face and run his hands down his body, searching for a hole that wasn’t there.  
  
\---  
  
4\. Among the best swordsmen in the East Blue, Kuina was flawlessly graceful and exquisitely balanced. She did not - would NEVER - fall down the stairs and break her neck. (Zoro continued his training, oblivious to the truth.)  
  
\---  
  
5\. Love, pain, hate, and sex had been twisted into something dark and cruel inside Nami.  Sometimes, when Sanji’s amorous advances went too far, the navigator would clutch her tattooed shoulder until her fingers turned white.  
  
\---  
  
6\. Isolated and starved for affection, Ace had been utterly screwed when it came to developing healthy boundaries. Luffy’s love was eternal, absolute, and unconditional. The weight of such trust and loyalty terrified Ace, even as the boy’s affection was drawn into an endless abyss of need.  
  
\---  
  
7\. Luffy was resistant to feeling cold yet susceptible to heat. Hot rubber might be weaker, but cold rubber was more brittle.  The same curiosity that led Chopper to develop the Rumble Balls now urged him to experiment on his captain. He tried to resist this impulse, but Luffy was idiotic enough to fall for every trick Chopper dreamed up, and it MIGHT lead to useful medical knowledge… someday.  
  
\---  
  
8\. No amount of depression and grief could steal Luffy’s appetite. No, this was worse. He ate his meals mechanically. His movements were robotic, joyless. He tasted nothing, and never even looked down at his plate.  
  
\---  
  
9\. Every night, she dreamed of the open seas, the salt wind, the rising tide. She would be called the Pirate Princess, wild and free. Vivi knew she had made the right choice in the end, but every night, she wished she had made a different one.  
  
\---  
  
10\. It was fear that kept Sabo from reaching out to his brother. Because in the end, Luffy had known the blond boy for less than a year before his ‘death’, whereas Ace was as much a part of Luffy as his own skin. Sabo believed he would seem like small, dim imitation of the brother Luffy had lost. A consolation prize. That rejection would break him, so Sabo remained in the shadows.


	2. 1.1 Paragraph One Piece Stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that reads ‘one point one’ … meaning these are 1 paragraph plus 1 sentence. It’s a nice progression from the first chapter, no?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preemptive warning – there are a lot more dark ones this time. Still some humor and coolness and suggestiveness, but a disproportionate amount of dark.

1.

The Pirate Warlord Crocodile was as ruthless, cruel, and cold as the reptile in his name. Although he was annoyed by the threats of exposure, he remained grateful to Empirio Ivankov for correcting a fundamental mistake in the universe. Crocodile had been a terrible woman. These traits earned her nothing but disgust and contempt.

As a man, they brought him power.

\--- 

2.

Any good doctor would notice the small burns - red welts dotting the necks, chests, and shoulders of his _nakama_ , but since none of them complained of discomfort, Chopper assumed it was mild rash from the Alabasta heat. It was only after the final battle with Crocodile when Chopper insisted on a full physical of the crew that he became alarmed. Somehow, the crew - Luffy, Nami, Zoro, Vivi, Usopp, and Sanji - not only had those small marks, but also suffered from mysterious, perfectly handprint-shaped burns on their hips and thighs. Worst of all, he couldn’t get information from any of them! Chopper’s frantic questioning was met with either carefree laughter, murderous glares, or red-faced stammering.

Nico Robin smiled secretively and whispered, “So that’s the irresistible charisma of those who carry the will of D.”

\--- 

3.

Sanji wondered if all of this was a hallucination in his dying mind. What felt like years were really moments as his body and brain slowly started to shut down. The first time he saw Brook, Sanji was certain the skeleton was an echo of what he saw in his reflection in the sea below, distorted, hollow-eyed, bones protruding from transparent skin.

Some mornings, Sanji woke certain he was still starving.

\--- 

4.

Robin called her techniques ‘submission holds’ to placate the more delicate members of her new crew. Only a few of them – Chopper, Zoro, and possibly Franky – knew how difficult it was to twist a man’s body enough to keep him down… without accidentally paralyzing or killing him. Accomplishing this delicate task took concentration and finesse. Those were scarce resources in battle, and anyway, it was impossible to give that level of attention to more than one person at the same time. Robin’s choices were to kill and paralyze the majority of her opponents, or to put herself and her nakama at risk by not incapacitating their foes.

Devil Child Nico Robin had lost count of the number of corpses left in her wake.

\--- 

5.

Ever since the day he stood against the Sea Train and failed to die, the ratio of human to machine in Franky’s body had steadily, inexorably decreased. The man and the cybernetic parts were one, he would say. Franky was rarely introspective. He lived in the moment. It’s not like he had anyone with whom he could discuss the philosophy of robotics. Who could he even ask? The only one who might understand had ceased to exist years ago.

The empty shell that had once been Bartholomew Kuma paced lifelessly, its eyes glowing and empty.

\--- 

6.

Chopper’s nose was nearly as good as any animal’s, though he usually wished he didn’t have that ‘gift’. Some of his crewmates weren’t especially concerned with hygiene, and he really didn’t appreciate knowing _so much_ detail about everyone’s sex life.

Worst of all, though was the day he began to smell the sickness mixed with the smoke on Sanji’s breath.

\--- 

7.

Dawn broke over the Sunny. Robin savored her morning cup of coffee while Sanji prepared breakfast for the still-sleeping crew. Zoro was supposed to be on watch, but his snoring form and the fumes he was emitting suggested an atypically large sake binge sometime late the night before.

Sanji couldn’t help eyeing him speculatively, humming the tune of ‘what shall we do with a drunken sailor’ under his breath.

\--- 

8.

The first time they had gotten to be alone after Alabasta, the hungry, desperate press of bodies caused a thump that was loud in the closet they had hidden themselves in. But they couldn’t bring themselves to care about the noise as the physical need rose, the secrecy of their affair only added to the thrill. Nobody knew, nobody even suspected, nobody…

A muffled voice came from outside, “Chopper! Chopper, come quick! Robin just got a nosebleed!”

\--- 

9.

Zoro had a choice. His captain demanded to know what happened at Thriller Bark, and Zoro’s code of ethics gave him the options of obeying captain’s orders or leaving the crew. Luckily, Hawkeye’s training had been useful for more than swordplay, and Zoro had learned to deceive with the truth.

His words were slow and measured, “Bartholomew Kuma came to collect our bounties, and I convinced him to leave, but not… peacefully,” Zoro finally said, the small voice inside him vowing not to regret this.

\--- 

10.

While her official expertise lay in Archaeology and Assassination, Robin had a wide variety of interests and studied a great many things. Genetics was among them. She knew the quirks of Longarms and Longlegs and Giants and Fishmen DNA. She knew why royalty tended to have unusual hair or skin colors. She even had some guesses about Shandians and Skypieans, aided by discreetly collected samples and Chopper’s medical testing equipment. Yet one seemingly small thing eluded her.

She could not find the source - or even guess the evolutionary function - of spiral eyebrows.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, author notes/musings - including rhapsodizing about sea shanties - can be found at squizbee dot livejournal dot com


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've officially failed at the single-paragraph thing. I just try to stay close to it.

1

“And the winner - totaling four feet of turgid braids - Red-foot Zeff! Putting him over the top was the delightful ‘sproinging’ sounds when it springs back into place after every thoughtful stroking!”

“I,” Whitebeard grumbled to the fishman beside him, “am going to _kill_ whoever signed me up for an ‘epic mustache’ competition.”

Davy Jones’s tentacle-beard writhed in agreement.

\---

2

Luffy’s injuries often caused delirium and fever after hard battles. Usually, in a fever dream the captain called out for Shanks or Ace, but on rare occasions he cried out for Zoro or Nami. Usopp decided it was because they were the nakama he met first. The sniper had arrived just after the time span Luffy regressed to during fever. It would be too painful if the threshold Usopp failed to reach was affection.

After all, Luffy couldn’t possibly have a deeper bond with his first two nakama than the one who loved him most.

\---

3

The battle would be lost if Zoro didn’t play his trump card. It was time. His left eye opened, and the cold yellow iris struck terror into the otherwise fearless heart of his opponent.

\---

4

“Zoro! Someone! I need you to cut this before I lose my grip!” Chopper had something clamped in a pair of pliers, a long pink string leading back to the sickbay where something was emitting an unholy screeching howl.

A flash of Sanji’s chef’s knife, and the fleshy string snapped back into the sickbay with a _twang!_ The caterwauling died down as Chopper rushed back inside, his muffled voice carrying so the others could hear, “Luffy, if you don’t brush your teeth, even more of them will go bad!”

\----

5

Nami heard the computer-perfect notes in the karaoke bar, and immediately regretted making that bet with Franky. She hadn’t realized Mr. Nipple Lights had also installed a goddamn _auto-tune_.

\---

6

“So let me get this straight,” a vein over Nami’s eyebrow began to throb, “Chopper bought a cart full of herbs to study - from some quack doctor who specializes in _hallucinogens_ and _aphrodisiacs_ \- And Luffy ate the whole thing thinking it was _salad_?”

The miserable-looking captain groaned on the floor, “Ohhh, my tummy feels weird. All tingly…”

\---

7

The crew got the completely wrong idea at the after-battle party when Usopp launched himself over the table and soundly kissed Franky on the lips. There was really no way to show proper appreciation for a gift like an Adam-wood slingshot. The steam that shot out of Franky’s ears was just a bonus.

\---

8

“How did my love spell not work on you either!?” Boa Hancock shrieked.

Zoro shrugged. “I guess you’ll never know. Now… prepare yourself for four sword style!”

\---

9

After witnessing Luffy’s abilities, Nami’s first thought was how much money he could make in porn. The first time she saw Third Gear, her mind was made up.

She was going to be _rich_.

\---

10

Shanks pouted after the third girl in a row ran out of the pub. Why was everyone scared of him? He was just a (normal, honest, hardworking) hardened career criminal… not some kind of _monster_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, notes on my squizbee livejournal.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By now you know the drill...

1

Trafalgar Law thought back to his days as a boy, before the white death. His best friends had been Tiananmen and Times. He still missed them, even though their classmates said they were all a bunch of squares.

\---

2

Zoro was proud of his ability to sleep anywhere, a skill born of long years of being unable to find his bed.

\---

3

Chopper banged on the locked door, only to flee as Zoro’s voice boomed “GO AWAY!” from the other side.

Inside, Sanji took a long drag of his cigarette, “Damn, Marimo, I’m always impressed how well you talk with your mouth full.”

\---

4

Zeff could wait no longer. Going mad with hunger, his body slowly shutting down, he waited. The treasure was worthless here, and his own limbs were his only hope of survival. He needed his hands to cook, needed his legs to fight. He could not keep both his dreams alive. He would give up one or lose everything.

He decided. And the sharp stone came down.

\---

5

When the crew complained that Luffy should be courteous and thoughtful like his brother, the young captain paused for a moment and looked into the distance. His mind flashing back to a rickety bridge… and when Luffy fell into the gorge, the final image – of dark eyes burning hot with hate and pain.

\---

6

Law rubbed his temples, regretting this alliance with the Strawhat Pirates. He was not fluent in all eight dialects of Crazy, and trying to translate was giving him a headache.

\---

7

Usopp slept with his blanket covering him completely from head to toe. This was a minor inconvenience and a major embarrassment some mornings when one of the crew mistook the tented blanket for his nose and grabbed the wrong part. … He suspected that Robin did it on purpose.

\---

8

He’d saved a kingdom for a friend, then declared war on the World Government to help another. He’d punched out a Tenryuubito to avenge a third, and did all of the above in Dressrosa for a fourth. Luffy was a force of nature, a power that would remake the world.

\---

9

Zoro’s knees bend. His forehead presses to the floor. “Teach me to use the sword!” Anyone who’d known him would have said that there was nothing stronger than Zoro’s pride. They would be wrong.

Zoro’s pride would bend only under one force – the strength of his will.

\---

10

He was seven, and the strongest person Luffy knew was torn and bleeding from the stump of his ruined shoulder.

He was seventeen and the second strongest person he’d ever known whispered his final words into Luffy’s ear, his last breath brushing the skin not covered by bandages.

Luffy is nineteen, and he knows no one is invincible.

\---

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes - and an apology for the worst pun I've ever written - can be found in the usual place.

**Author's Note:**

> I plan to add a new chapter if/when/every time I have 10 of these 1-paragraph stories.


End file.
